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Fort Lytton Historical Association

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One from George Parker. I thought he was a 7 Sig Regt digger trying to escape old Doc Rowe.

There was a signalman, and inmate at a mental hospital. One day as he was walking past the hospital swimming pool, he saw another inmate suddenly jump in the deep end of the pool and sink straight to the bottom, where he stayed.

Our heroic sig promptly jumped into the pool to save him. He swam to the bottom and pulled him out.

When the medical director became aware of our heroic sig’s act of heroism, he immediately ordered him to be discharged from the hospital, as he now judged our heroic sig to be mentally stable.

When the director went to tell our heroic sig the news, he said, "Sig, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that you are being discharged, since you were abe to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of another patient. I have concluded that your act of heroism displays sound mindedness."

"The bad news is that the patient you saved later hung himself with has bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry to tell you this news, but he’s dead."

Our heroic sig looked at the director and replied, "He didn’t hang himself - I put him there to dry out. Now – how soon can I go home?"

Battle re-enactment - scene overlooking the river    Costumes (scene 4)





"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

Understanding Engineers - Take Eight

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.

The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.

The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?"

"Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Take Nine

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want."

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

Fishing at Fort Lytton

Lytton Signals soldiers would have had the very best fishing spot in mainland Australia both in 1940-45 and 1952 when we were posted there and found magnificent Crab Creek running between Moreton Bay and the Brisbane River. Using pots we never missed out on a feed of bream or crab. The downside were the mongrel sandflies and mosquitoes that swarmed around in droves, even when we were covered in citronella .


The alternative to this were the eels which no one liked at all, even though we had a really good cook. So we swapped eel steaks for prime beef steaks and lived like kings. Eels were usually easy to pull up the bank of the moat, but one day this big one was still alive and as he wriggled he pulled me down the slippery mud and I thought I was gone. But I let him wait until the next day and then we got him.


Haircut Parades


Haircut parades were all the go at Lytton, so every three weeks we would take the 3 Ton Blitz into Wynnum. The barber was right opposite the pub so the first Digger would go in for a haircut while the rest had a glass of morning tea. Then the second went in, and so on until the ten of us were all done and then we went back to camp. As this was usually a Wednesday, Sports Day ,we didn`t have to work that afternoon, which was just as well.



Four old diggers were sitting around chewing the rag when one said, "These days, my arms are so weak I can hardly hold a cup of coffee."

The next one said, "My cataracts are so bad I can’t even see my coffee."

The third one said, “I can’t turn my head because of arthritis.”

The fourth one chimed in, "My blood pressure tablets make me dizzy,”

Then he went on, “But at least we can still DRIVE.”



Life is not what it used to be:


1. Raising teens is like nailing jelly to a wall.


2. Wrinkles don’t hurt .


3. Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts.


4. Today’s mighty oak was just a NUT who held his ground.


5. Laughing is good exercise. It is like JOGGING on the inside.


6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, NOT the toy.





The 4 Ages of life:


1.    You believe in Santa Claus.

2.    You do not believe in Santa Claus .

3     You are Santa Claus .

4.    You LOOK like Santa Claus .




Site last updated 16 March 2013

This site is dedicated to those soldiers who trained at Lytton and gave their lives for our freedom .

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